13 weeks – almost out of the first trimester!
Picture is blurry again. Oh well.
This is the first week where, in my eyes anyway (okay and probably my eyes ONLY), I look pregnant. I woke up on Thursday, looked in the mirror and could immediately see a huge difference in my stomach. It’s actually more pronounced if I suck in because my ribs compress yet the pooch refuses to be sucked. Anyway, people at school and on the street continue to not see but I KNOW WHAT’S UP and I like it.
Something I don’t like though? The fact that I threw up Wednesday morning. I’m THIS CLOSE to second trimester and still throwing up occasionally. Not okay. I had just eaten breakfast (Puffins cereal) then I walked a few blocks to meet Hus at the cafe where he was working since we had no school and he is working on his barista skills. Anyway, I started talking to the cafe owner’s wife when suddenly I got all uncomfortably hot and dizzy and had to bolt to the bathroom the throw up the cereal.
I thought that experience would ruin Puffins for me, which would be sad because they are one of the four foods I enjoy eating but also perhaps a positive thing because they are extremely expensive in Mexico. Later on that day, though, I craved Puffins. So I guess I’ll keep eating them.
I kind of hit a low point yesterday, realizing how long it had been since I’ve felt like myself. I sincerely try not to complain because I am, of course, SO unbelievably grateful to be pregnant. I also have to put myself in check because I know this is just the beginning, too. I mean, come on, if I think THIS discomfort is bad, am I ready to deal with a newborn? Let’s not answer that question.
All that being said, allow me to vent just a little. For me, the first trimester has felt like a constant hangover: always somewhat nauseous, all foods slightly suspect and precarious to put in my stomach, constantly exhausted to the point of needing a daily three hour nap and breathless from the most slight amount of physical activity. I told Hus yesterday that I truly didn’t understand how women could not know they were pregnant in their first trimester because, if I didn’t know I was pregnant right now, I would be sure that I had some type of auto-immune disease and would be in my doctor’s office so fast.
I don’t miss things like alcohol or coffee or raw fish or whatever. I just miss being able to eat normal foods here in Mexico. We were out yesterday and I became nauseous with hunger, yet I was surrounded by Mexican food which just the thought of made my stomach churn more. I have never been a picky eater, especially when it comes to Mexican food, since it’s been a favorite of mine. So I just wanted to scream WHAT THE HELL TUMMY?!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!? I’m sure all the hormonal changes aren’t helping my emotional ability to deal, either.
Okay, rant over, as I feel ridiculous/guilty complaining. I just hope that what everyone says is true and that the second trimester brings some relief because I want to feed my baby properly, perhaps with some vegetables and protein for once, and to feel at least a little more like Carly again.
Off to do some yoga, which always brings me a little closer to feeling like myself. Much love to all.