Hus viciously hates these pants, which makes wearing them even more enjoyable for me.
At some point when I stop sweating I might take the official 20 weeks picture in our house – I know you’re missing my tie dye bike shorts – but it’s hard to accomplish anything in our apartment right now. I have literally been doing everything in slow motion for survival. Our one weak ceiling fan gives no relief from the 90 degrees plus 85% HUMIDITY that is wreaking havoc on my life. Maybe if I weren’t pregnant I’d be more resilient. Probably not though. I can tell I actually feel pretty good, or I would feel pretty good if I could just stop sweating.
Thankfully, I have an air conditioning unit in my classroom. This is honestly the only way I make it through the week. I love this air conditioner more than I love Hus or Poqueta right now. If it weren’t at the tippy top of my ceiling, I would kiss it. I try not to use it too intensely because I’m so terrified of it dying. Things at our school, once broken, stay broken. I’ll put it on for 30 minutes then off for 30 minutes. Keeps me and the kids cool.
So Thursday was our 20 week ultrasound! Everything was measuring perfectly and Feez looked great. It is now 100% certain he is a boy! My doctor couldn’t believe how much my belly had grown since 16 weeks. I must admit that the 20 week ultrasound is altogether less exciting than the earlier ones since you can really only see blurry pieces of the body on the screen rather than the whole baby jumping around. Still crazy to see how much he has changed though, and to see through his skin to his brain, heart and bones! The doctor told me my placenta was anterior, meaning it’s at the front of my uterus, which is why I haven’t been feeling much movement. This was actually comforting to me because I thought there was something wrong. I’ve only felt very occasional jabs, kind of on the side. I’ve read that as he gets bigger I’ll be able to feel more, which I hope is true.
But at least I know now that when my student punched me in the belly the other day, he hit my placenta and not the baby! Yup, my 6 year old student punched me. He punches everything and everyone near constantly, but I’m pretty sure punching a fetus has been his all time low. The most sociopathic part is that afterwards he cackled and said, “What do you think the baby’s doing now?!” Yikes. If you knew the cast of little boy characters in my 1st and 2nd grade class, you would understand why I’m starting to grow anxious about having a boy. They range from aggressive and physically abusive (okay, just that one kid fits in that category) to extremely impulsive and lacking all self-control (him and all the rest pretty much) or just hyper-competitive and obsessed with being the best at all times. I’m so over it.
The only thing that gives me hope is that being a teacher has made me strict as hell with kids and Hus and I have both discussed that no matter how awesome and perfect we think our kids are, we need to be just as strict as parents as we are as teachers. The reason the boys in my class are so out of control is obvious as soon as their parents come pick them up. Their mom or dad will say, “Hey sweetie, get your backpack,” and the kid will respond “No, you get it!” and then throw their homework folder at their parent and go tearing out of the room towards the swings, while the mom or dad sighs and digs through their cubby for their stuff. I stand there literally horrified. I can’t even tell you how many conversations I’ve had with these parents about fostering more independence in their kids and following through with their consequences, but little has changed and I do find it incredibly uncomfortable to give parenting advice when I myself don’t even have kids.
I just read the much talked about parenting book, “Bringing up Bebe” in two days and while I have a lot of thoughts that I will write about later, the part I could really get down with was about the importance of saying no and meaning it. My first year of teaching, I didn’t know how to say no with conviction and went through hell because of it. I realized a few months in that I had to change, but just as the French parents talk about in the book, it’s much easier to loosen the screw than tighten it. Now I’ve learned to start the year extremely strict, overly strict really, without budging on anything no matter how persistent the kids are. Then you can loosen up and be more loving and all that later, but not until after the boundaries are clear. I know it must be different and far more challenging to do with your own kids. I totally couldn’t care less if I make one of my students cry these days, it’s just part of the territory as far as I’m concerned, but I’m sure making my own kid cry will be hard. But I hope I have the strength to do it if I have to, because I refuse to send my kid out into the world acting as inappropriately as some of my students do. The book is right in saying that kids that always get what they want are unhappy, because they expect the world always to work easily for them and that’s not the reality. You can’t always be afraid of hurting their feelings.
How did I get off on this tangent? Oh yeah, my uterus getting punched. Anyway, let me give the last of my 20 week update before I’m off to one of the many end of the year parties that are happening in these final school days. I’ve been finding it super easy to eat healthy right now. I’ve actually been craving fruit and vegetables more than anything. I’ve only gained 2 lbs since pre-pregnancy, probably because the heat puts a damper on my appetite a bit. Pretty sure once I’m in the states I’ll gain steadily, especially since second half of pregnancy is when I hear the 1 lb a week gets going on. I can’t wait to eat ALL THE FOOD IN THE UNITED STATES AND GERMANY!!!!!
I’ve been doing 30 minutes of yoga a day, usually my own flow or a vinyasa class on YogaGlo but they feel more like Bikram in the intense heat of my apartment. Today I miraculously managed to get through a 1 hr Kathryn Budig class on YogaGlo (gosh I missed her) with a few modifications of course. I’m still avoiding the pre-natal yoga on YogaGlo because it’s just too boring. When I had no energy in the first trimester I did them, but now they’re not for me. Later on I’ll probably come back to them, though.
Okay, off to this party which is supposed to be a pool party but the sky just got alarmingly gray. Paired with this unbearable humidity are daily thunderstorms of the monsoon variety. Never a dull moment here.
So much love!!
P.S. Forgot to post on here the comparison picture I put together this past week, which blew my mind: