Image34 weeks and feeling pretty good! I don’t think I look that much bigger, but I can tell that Feez is filling out his space more. I can always feel his body parts pretty distinctly (at least what I’m guessing to be his butt, back, feet, etc.) whether he’s moving around or not. Man, feeling his movements will never get old. In fact, in those moments where I feel so eager to be done with pregnancy and meet him already, cranky about not being able to sleep or my clothes looking absurd, I try to touch my stomach and imagine him not being in there anymore. Doing this inevitably makes me appreciate right now, and the amazing feeling of having him with me all the time. If I zoom out to the big picture, these days are so few and so special, so I need to resist the impulse to press fast forward. 
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Bare belly is SO terrifying. 
 
Anyway, I can tell that these final weeks are going to inch by. I’m trying to keep as busy as possible to make time go faster, but at the same time I don’t have my usual stamina to be going-going-going all the time either. Finding balance is hard.
 
I have this secret fear that in the last month I will suddenly: get lots of stretch marks (everyone says they like to appear right at the end), start to feel as huge and whale-like as I look, retain hella water, get swollen and uncomfortable. I’ve been enjoying pregnancy so much and I would love to rock that until the end. Things that will hopefully help accomplish this goal: 
 
-Prenatal yoga
-Long walks with intermittent slow motion jogging  – weather has been AMAZING for being outside
-Eating protein with every meal
-Limiting sugar (ps I suck at this and eat sugar all the time but I’m going to try to cut down on at least my consumption during the day – still need my nightly ice cream though)
-Sleeping a lot, about 7 hours a night plus usually a nap during the day
-Acupuncture 1x week (ahhhh this is my happy place every Monday!) 
-Maintaining positive attitude
 
About that last one: I definitely feel this weird sadness/depression creeping in that must be hormonal since it showed up at the same time as this lovely breakout on my face. I have been crying for no reason. I’m really hoping it passes soon. I look around and can point out so many things to feel grateful for and happy about, yet sadness lingers. Here are things I’ve been trying to do to combat this: 
 
-Not always turn to chocolate (but sometimes I do anyway, and it works as a temporary fix, so yeah) 
-Take Poqueta on a walk or cuddle with her on the couch
-Throw myself into the illustrations for my children’s book
-Listen to Pete Holmes’ podcast “You Made it Weird” because it ALWAYS makes me laugh
-Decorate the nursery 
-Clean/organize something 
 
Tonight is our first childbirth class! Pretty excited about it. 
 
Okay… need to stop thinking about chocolate chip cookies and kombucha. Not that I want them together. I just want both of those things in general. 
 
LOVE
c
 
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