"when all your desires are distilled; you will cast just two votes: to love more, and be happy" -hafiz

Monthly Archives: December 2013



Not sure how that happened. I am excited for our trip to State College, where we always spend Christmas with my aunt, uncle and cousins. My little 2nd cousins will be there (that’s what you call the kids of your cousins, right?) Hailey and Clara! Hailey just turned 2 and Clara is 4 months. Last time I saw Clara over Thanksgiving I couldn’t believe how HUGE she was at only 3 months, but now it makes sense — BABIES GROW FAST YO!! Get this: Hafiz is already 10 POUNDS and 1 oz. That means he gained 2 lbs in 3 weeks, since his 2 week appointment where he was 8 lbs! I told you he was a little chubster! I love his double chin SO MUCH.

double chin

Feeling a little blah today. Not sure why. I took Poqueta to the vet to update her vaccinations because she’s coming on the plane with us to Missouri. So relieved that she is coming because I have trouble being apart from her.

I took Hafiz to his pediatrician yesterday because I thought both of us had thrush (his fussiness during eating, my shooting nipple pain, white on his gums) but apparently we don’t. Instead the pediatrician thinks he has reflux and wants me to stop eating dairy and start him on Zantac. I really really really don’t want him on medicine, so I’m trying the dairy elimination thing first. This is immensely hard for me because I eat the same foods every day and most of them are dairy: yogurt for breakfast, cheese and crackers for lunch, healthy usually dairy free dinner then ice cream for dessert. Today was day one of no dairy and it was hard, but it’s probably actually good to branch out with my food a bit. I get in serious ruts. In reality, I can handle everything besides the no ice cream thing. I eat this chocolate peanut butter gelato (Talenti brand, SO AMAZING) every night and I don’t want to stop! But for you Feez… I’ll do anything. I love you that much.

Oh my goodness, speaking of love. His smiles have been coming out full throttle.


Okay I didn’t really capture it there but I did get a video and there were many more undocumented ones. What made me really happy is that he was smiling a lot after eating today and looking relaxed and cheerful rather than fussy as he has been. I don’t know if it’s possible for this dairy elimination to be working already (?) or if it’s sheer coincidence. We’ll see how things go from here on out. My nipples also feel better. Who knows what was happening there.

Super psyched for this weekend. Tomorrow we get a visit from our friend from California, Eddie, for lunch and then hang with Emily’s family at night. Then Sunday we’ll see Kari and Josh and all head over to our friend Ben’s jewish christmas caroling party that evening. Oh, and Monday morning I have my 6 week postpartum appointment with the midwife that delivered Hafiz! Need to remember to bring her a little gift! Also, I have some serious questions for her regarding what is happening down there…

And on that note, I am going to go eat a really delicious smelling dinner (salmon and polenta). Then I’ll watch Girls which I’ve been catching up on and am enjoying. My whole family finds it really disturbing but I think it’s hilarious and weirdly true to life, reminding me of my days as a 20 year old in NYC. I mean clearly the characters and events are exaggerated but they are capturing a part of the reality with that demographic there.

One more cute pic and I’m out:


He can be a bit of a tough cookie sometimes.

Remember how I was supposed to get a haircut the day I went into labor? Well now 5 weeks later I finally got it and I had no fear of bangs now since labor and motherhood are far scarier than bangs. This is just hair after all.


I just wrote a long post about must have items for the newborn days and then pressed some button on my keyboard that deleted it. BOOO. I’m not writing it again because now I hear Hafiz waking up. I think they were mostly obvious things anyway (boppy pillow, lansinoh nipple cream, sleep sheep, aden & anais swaddling blankets) with just a few possibly more unique ones (snuggle me cushion, earth mama angel baby bottom balm, cloth wipes). What I should write is a post of what I haven’t needed, because I feel like I have a bunch of things that I’ve found to be unnecessary. I guess some of the stuff might be useful later on though so I shouldn’t speak too soon. 

Anyway, Hafiz is 5 weeks old today! I’ll post a pic soon. He is getting increasingly chubby, I love it! 

Husein and I launched our coffee roasting business this week, Between Friends Roasting Company. This has been over a year in the making, as the idea started back when we were living in Mexico, and it’s crazy that it’s all coming to fruition. Granted, Husein does 99% of the work since I’m on constant baby duty. However, I’m helping with the social media part (of which I know nothing but am learning). 

Shit, Feez is full on crying. Gotta go. Love!


oh how i love when he is sleeping

Everything is better after a long, gloriously hot shower — right?

Hafiz and I fell asleep together on his floor bed about two hours ago. I was rejoicing because he fell asleep without being rocked or bounced, so then I decided to take a nap with him. I snuck out after 30 minutes though and he has been there since, for 1.5 hrs all alone. This is a huge feat because during the day he has stubbornly been wanting to sleep on a person, which will not be easy to accomplish once real life continues tomorrow and I’m all alone with all day him while Husein is working in the basement. I’m optimistic that we’ll figure something out though.

Anyway, I realized something during my awesome shower (whenever Hafiz is REALLY sleeping I take a shower, except yesterday because I was determined to finish my SECOND TO LAST ILLUSTRATION FOR THE BOOK, which I did during one of his naps, meaning only one drawing is left!!!): I need to slow down and breathe. This is a simple thing that I had practically mastered during pregnancy because I was determined to keep calm for the growing baby and not let stressed out, rushed, panicked, cortisol-spiking vibes get to him. However, once the baby was out I totally lost sight of this practice. He falls asleep and suddenly I’m rushing around like a maniac trying to accomplish A, B, C, D, E, F and G at a rapid pace before he wakes up. So of course I feel stressed out and those tasks that I’m “accomplishing”? Well they’re not even being done well because I’m rushing so much. I’m shoving crackers and cheese into my face standing in the kitchen, hurrying through yoga skipping the savasana, hopping in and out of showers without enjoying their luxuriousness, coloring my illustrations messily, etc. It’s not a healthy nor sustainable way to be going about things. Let’s not mention how unpleasant this makes me towards Husein, who will ask me to help him with something and I yell “I’M ON THE CLOCK, FEEZ GONNA WAKE UP, CAN’T HELP YOU!” and run away. F-ed up.

This is all so clearly self-imposed because, HELLO CARLY, you intentionally have pretty much nothing that you MUST get done in your life right now. You’ve already told everyone that they aren’t getting Christmas presents (sorry, everyone). You aren’t working. You don’t even need to cook dinner! You can slow down and perhaps accomplish less, but enjoy more and do things better when you do actually do them.

And when the baby wakes up and cries? NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. He takes more naps, that’s a guarantee. In fact, be happy when he cries because you get to go in and smile at the most beautiful face in the entire world, the face of your son who you have been dreaming about having for basically your entire life. How stupid will you feel next year when you’re back in the classroom, back to the grind of teaching, remembering how rushed and stressed you felt when you were at home with newborn Hafiz? You’ll want to say to past Carly: APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE, SLOW DOWN AND BREATHE YOU DUMMY.

Weirdly enough, I have a very positive association with Friday the 13th. Hus and I had our Chicago Indian wedding mehndi on a Friday the 13th in April 2012, as well as our huge Chicago baby shower BBQ this past September. Both parties went off without a hitch and no one had any bad luck (our marriage and baby included) so I really can’t believe all the superstition around it. They’ve been lucky days for me, and today can be included in that because hafiz is sleeping like an angel. I was able to do yoga for 20 min and work on my illustrations for an hour and a half! I wish Colinda were always here to hold the baby.

Pumping today, however, not so lucky. Either I’m using the pump incorrectly or the suction cups are the wrong size because I know my breast was full this morning yet zero came out. Good thing my neighbor rents breast pumps. I will go over tomorrow and ask for advice.

My dad just went out to buy a Christmas tree that we are decorating tonight. I’ll have to bust out one of hafiz’s many holiday outfits for the occasion. I am still depressed that I can’t have chocolate. I want to drink peppermint hot chocolate while decorating the tree!

actually asleep yayy hafiz

ANYWAY… now I’m in bed while hafiz gets some time with his grandma and I get time to nap. Or at least try to nap. Better get on this. much love.