Writing this post with a SHRIEKING baby on my chest. Intermittent shrieking, that is. He goes from 15 seconds of shrieks to 45 seconds of sucking on his hand. Oh wait, I think his eyes are closed. HE’S ASLEEP! Whoa. 10 minutes of shrieks and hand sucking and he appears to be out (knock on wood). 

So this is my new nap strategy. I just hold him or baby wear him and let him fuss it out. I say “fuss” but I don’t think Hafiz ever fusses. I’ve been around babies who fuss – just make those little whiny noises, whimpers kind of. Hafiz has never done this. He is either silent or screaming/wailing. I think that’s why I’ve been so reluctant to let him cry at all. Because it’s freaking terrifying. He will be seemingly peaceful, perhaps a slight grouchy face, and then “WAHHHHHH!!!!!” with tears – it’s startling. 

Now he’s snoring. YES.

So yes, I used to wear or hold him to sleep BUT I also had to BOUNCE like a mad woman to prevent all crying. However, the bouncing would take ~25 minutes. He takes 3-4 naps a day, so doing that 3-4 times a day was making me hate life. His naps were also only 30-40 minutes. Plus, I noticed that each day it would take a little longer to get him down that way. I had flashes to the my future self having to spend hours bouncing my 2 year old son to sleep. Yikes.

So yesterday I decided to let him cry in my arms. Slightly rocking him, talking to him, telling him everything was going to be okay. The first day was 10 minutes straight of hard core shrieking. Today it wasn’t nearly as bad, just those intermittent shrieks. 

I feel relieved. Yes, hearing your baby cry is the worst but he’s falling asleep more quickly, sleeping longer, and I’m not on the brink of a mental breakdown… so I think I’ll stick with it for as long as it seems to be working.

Let me just clarify that I am only letting him cry like this when he has just been fed plenty, has a new diaper, and is in comfy clothes and temperature. His pain cry is very different from even his normal shrieks, so I’d know if something was actually wrong aside from tiredness. We found this out the hard way when Hus cut him the slightest bit while cutting his nails. Oh man, did Hafiz SCREAM bloody murder. It was so, so awful. I think all of us are scarred for life from it. Actually, Hus and I more so than Hafiz. Hafiz woke up from his next nap smiling, oblivious to the injury. I doubt Hus will ever cut Hafiz’s nails again. I just bit them off his other hand in desperation (I refuse to go near those clippers now, either). 

I have been thinking a lot about what my yoga teacher said regarding not getting attached to anything our baby does. I need to work on this. For instance, after going to sleep at 8:30 last night, Hafiz woke up at 3AM hungry. He usually wakes up at 4AM or even closer to 5AM so I felt frustrated by this wake up. I begrudgingly fed him. But then he continued sleeping to his normal time anyway, 7:30. So why did I let myself get all worked up and annoyed? And even if he had woken up again at 5 or so… what does it matter? He’s not a robot that will be the same every day. It’s tempting to look for patterns, routines, schedules, but everything is subject to change and I need to be more accepting of these constant changes. 

We weighed Hafiz last night and he was nearly 12 lbs! Big boy. 

Anyway, we finished season 1 of Orange is the New Black last night and I am dying for season 2 to start! Such an amazing show. And of course the season finale had a ridiculous cliff hanger that I won’t stop thinking about until whenever season 2 comes out (Spring 2014 = vague. I need dates, people. I want to pencil this in.)

Can’t believe how much my boy’s little face has changed… a few days old, and then 2 months old: 



Okay, need to go do some laundry… xoxo