hus and I watched this movie the other week called “the best exotic marigold hotel” and in it was a great quote from the hilarious Indian hotel owner:

everything is alright in the end. if it is not alright, it is not yet the end.

I like this as a life motto.


Today was annoying. Snow decided to come during the exact hours I was supposed to be driving to the new mom’s group. If it were super close by I would have gone, but it’s a good 20 min away and involves driving on a super curvy, narrow road that has a 25 mph speed limit yet everyone drives 60. no joke. So hafiz and I stayed home. Blah. I hate you, winter. I need to move somewhere you don’t exist.

The silver lining is that hafiz napped wonderfully today, three hour-long naps in his bed and then one in the ergo on a long walk with me outside. (because after the snow stopped the sun came out actually. Still cold winds though.) He has been rocking naps like this for about a week? 2 weeks? now. I almost always take a walk with him for the last nap of the day though because it’s the most difficult one for him to go down for. Plus I desperately need the exercise and fresh air.

Oh! Good news on the swaddle front. I’ve started doing one arm out and he’s still sleeping 11 hrs straight. Progress!! I dreamt last night that hafiz was crying. So I woke myself up at 5am to a silent hafiz. Silly brain. I think the sun is what wakes him because 7am is always the magic time and that’s when his room gets quite light. Another reason I’m stressing about daylight savings. Oh wait that means he’ll sleep in more though. Never mind! Nights are the questionable territory. Hmmm.

Is it weird that I talk to hafiz out loud the entire time we are out walking, even though he is fast asleep? I pour my heart out. Hus and I had gotten in a bit of an argument this morning and on the walk I talked it over with hafiz and realized that hus actually made a good point.

Ugh this is so what happens when your adult interactions pretty much vanish.

I think I am feeling stressed because there is no big, life-altering change on the horizon. I thrive on that. All last year it was the baby. Year before that, getting married and moving to the beach. Before that, moving to Mexico. And so on. I’ve always had a big change coming up that weirdly centered me.

Ahh this Friday is the 28th! AKA one year anniversary of finding out I was pregnant!


Hafiz with the only toy he’s interested in.

Some really exciting things have been happening with hus’s our business (i do very very little for the business but hus always corrects me when I refer to it as his) but, unfortunately, that means hus is super busy and I see him only at 8 or 9pm once hafiz is asleep and I’m exhausted, dreading the fact I have to stay up until 10 to pump because I just want to sleep.

I really hate pumping.

I really love sleep!

Okay in lieu of having a big life change I will just remind myself of awesome things coming up:

• Kari’s little baby boy will be born in about a month! ahh!

• trip to the bay in less than a month!

• warmer temperatures… At some point… RIGHT?!

• my book will be for sale in ~2 weeks (fingers.crossed.)

That’s all I can think of. Oh, giving hafiz solid food! Really excited for that.

Oh no I’m about to end on a depressing note but a text from my aunt reminded me. My grandma fell down last week and has been in the hospital since, not doing great. I send many pictures and videos of hafiz daily to encourage her since that was her one request in the hospital. My grandma is the best. Please send healthy thoughts her way.

Gotta call my aunt. Hasta pronto. Xo