so so SO excited!

the past week has been rough, to say the least. i felt sleep deprived for the first time as a mother. i know i lucked out with hafiz sleeping like a champion as a newborn, but i think it’s for this very reason that i wasn’t at all prepared to deal with running on little sleep come 4 months. i had no practice! my friend kari – aka expert on sleep deprivation – is barely phased by nights where her daughter keeps her up since her body has learned to cope. i am not yet there.

we are in no way out of the woods yet – especially with this trip tomorrow which will surely throw hafiz off like whoa – but last night was the first night of hope. he struggled to fall asleep, crying a little every 15 min between 8:30 and 9:30. then at 1:20am he was crying. i woke up and held my breath, trying to decide how to respond. should I just nurse him and then camp out I’m his room as I had done for the past week? nurse him and go back to my own bed? just pat him and hope he stops? i slowly got up to pee before making my decision and… the crying stopped. i fell back asleep and didn’t wake up again until his crying started again at 4:30am. i listened for awhile but this time it sounded far more frantic and wasn’t slowing. so i nursed him on one side. he actually refused the other side which bothered me because it was uncomfortably full (having just adjusted to a week of heavy night nursing!) so i just put him down wide awake and went downstairs to pump that overly full side. didn’t hear another peep from him until 8am!!!

lesson learned: even though listening to him cry in the night is for some reason 1 million times more painful than in the daytime, give him 5-10 min to see what happens (unless the cries are serious serious) before responding.

i do notice that when we are co-sleeping he wakes up a lot. is it my movements and noises? the smell of milk? can’t be sure but I bet this “letting him cry to figure it out” will be far less effective when we are all in bed together this week. pretty sure he will know I’m there and expect some help from mama. part of me is seriously considering him in the bed (with pillows as bumpers so he can’t roll either direction) and me on the floor!! we’ll see.

i really am trying to be as “que será será” regarding this week. I won’t be able to keep hafiz’s wakefulness to 90 min all the time. I will be praying that he falls asleep nursing (especially on the plane). most naps will be on the go. I’m bringing the paci even though he hasn’t wanted it in weeks. bedtime will be all over the place. Let’s hope he will be fairly adaptable.

we are pretty much packed. hafiz is bringing twice as much as me since we know he tends to get bodily liquids on everything and we will have limited access to laundry. It looks like there are plenty of empty seats on the plane which means husein will probably get on and sit with us. PHEW! fingers crossed the airline handles our car seat with care. hafiz will be wearing his united airlines onesie (from my mother-in-law) in hopes of receiving special treatment. I also have the goody bags for the 20 passengers around us for both the flight there and coming back that contain ear plugs, gum and chocolate.

we’re ready to roll.

speaking of rolling, hafiz hadn’t rolled in a whole week! that was another way I could tell something was really up with him. he went from non-stop practicing to just laying there with sleepy eyes. I really think it was just a perfect storm of 4 month sleep regression (when their sleep patterns become more adult-like), in-laws visiting and being overwhelming, along with the massive vaccinations on wednesday. there are still big swollen knots on his legs from those 😦 today was the first day where he had that brightness back in his eyes and started rolling again! I’m 100% sure it’s because he actually slept last night.

ok going to do a few last touches with packing and then hopefully get to bed early since we are leaving the house at 5:45am. wish us luck!!